I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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