He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
