tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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