I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
