I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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