Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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