Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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