we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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