lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize