We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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