You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
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Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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