he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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