he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
