If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
