i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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