If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize