If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
