DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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