Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
