My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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