Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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