even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
