Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I want her autograph on my taint
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
