What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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