turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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