He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
