We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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