Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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