it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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