i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize