Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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