i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
