it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize