I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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