We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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