Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
