my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning