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• (914): View more from New York

  ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  jesus mom

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• (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand

  (816): View more from Missouri

  team rage. no explanation necessary

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• (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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• (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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• (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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• (415): View more from California

  When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Mischief managed.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?

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