Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.