so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
They have beer where we have blood.