i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
