i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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