i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
