I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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