ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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