that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize