my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
