My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
