I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just forgot I was standing up.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
