Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
