She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
ttyl tear gas
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
