I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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