He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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