you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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