But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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