a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
