and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
