shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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