Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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