How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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