my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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