wanna go halves on a baby?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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