Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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