it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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