"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
