I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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